”“Going on tour must be very difficult to sustain relationships, have you ever had a relationship break up because of it?”“Not break up as suc... but it is hard to keep a relationship going. Every guy that I date has to know that I do a lot of touring and so they bear that in mind before a relationship. But it does get very lonely, occasionally, not just for them but for me too.”“So does that mean, there’s an awful lot of masturbation on your tour bus?”“Oh yeah, totally. I pretty much masturbate. ‘But if I’m dead then is that not the way to heaven?’ ‘Or perhaps to Hell. Why go eagerly towards it not knowing which it will be?’ I look at his bristled face. ‘I trust not to any priest’s words in this place. Nor would I advise you to do so.’ For not better reason than I wish to, I kiss his lips. A gesture he pulls his face away from in disgust. I move just enough to shift my knee and ram it into his crotch. I grin in his face and revel at the scream of pain. Leaving the groaning man to be. There he told me the 'new' rules of our home. I signed a contract that night stating I would honor him as HOH and obey him or I would be punished. The term of the punishments were not spelled out. But that I should trust him to act appropriately was.Some might take umbrage in this story. But I don't. My tears that night were from a sore butt yes but also they were tears of relief. Utter relief. I had wanted someone to take control of me for so long that it hurt. I needed this like a fish needs. .”I asked her what? She said nothing and there was no text after that. I went to my balcony and lit a cigarette. I know what she was to say. Being a girl, how long can she hold on to her feeling or satisfy herself? I was thinking about it and asked myself, why not I satisfy her?I never had such an intention towards her. She was always a women I respected and even now I had a thought like this not because of lust, but because I cared her a lot. If you would ask me, do I love her? No. Again I.
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