He whispered and brushed his lips over her cheek before again leaning his head near her ear, “I have a confession Suzanne. I have wanted to tell you...this for, well, ever since we found each other on line. I hope you won’t hate me for telling a lie, but I have to confess.” His lips again brushed over her cheek; the suspense was worse for her than anything he could say. “I’m not married Suzanne. My wife died several years ago; that makes me a widow and a liar as well. I’m sorry, I wanted to tell. You might think that this plan would make the Americans give up tea for coffee. The average extra-strength extra-caffeinated super-size quintuple expresso would do a better job keeping them awake to read you-know-what than tea would, so you would think only boneheads would stick with tea. Nope. They wouldn’t act like the French-speakers in Quebec.You in the back. Why is Uncle Dave calling the Founding Fathers boneheads? I didn’t say that. I said that “you” think they’re boneheads. And even if I. From above it couldn’t have looked like more than an innocent young girl skipping ecstatically to class but all those below got a full view of Mary’s globular buttocks, unencumbered by any hint of underwear but adorned with the most thrilling goosebumps. Congratulating herself on her Olympically-precise performance, she ducked beneath the suspicious glare of Mrs. Tanner the ancient history teacher (known as such because she was ancient and taught history, natch) and hurried inside.First period. Works every time, I promise.Today, I went in early to prepare for my annual Dick Miller marathon, sad this year since the gifted character actor passed away recently. Out of respect, I scheduled four of his movies, a new record: "The Burbs," "A Bucket of Blood," "The Howling," and "Rock and Roll High School." True cinema classics all. With hours to kill, I motioned my adorable sub up the steps to our secret hideaway. There, she looked down shamefully, stripped and offered me the trusty strappy.
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