.I'm with someone, I'm in love with someone, and I can't do this. I mean,I totally fucking want to, but my relationship? It's kinda supposed tobe mono...amous. I'll quit Silly Monkey if you want me to so it's notfucked up for everyone else, but I can't do this."By the time I finished that brave little speech, I heroically startedcrying. Guilt had won, against all odds, and that was her price asChampion of Amy's Emotions. I felt ashamed, more so than ever. I didn'tdeserve Tamara, I didn't deserve. I asked if she had a dog. She told me no dogs just a small litter still living at home. Her husband, she explained was at a Dublin zoo. "Oh, he works there?" I asked."He's more an exhibit," she replied sadly. I understood her embarrassment. An exhibitionist in the family can be most troubling. Once again she began staring at my exposed body. "Nice rack!" She said, licking her lips, salivating. I blushed until realizing she was addressing a rack of lamb hidden beneath the bed. Lifting it,. “Here we are Pam. Now don’t be shocked at what you see. Just observe” she said. We walked into the factory and to a large room at the back. There were a number of women there and two were holding large dogs. “My God” I thought “it is a dog fight or something”. I could not have been more wrong.“Ms Adams” I began “this isn’t a dog fight is it”. She looked at me and then started to laugh. “God no Pam honey. These women LOVE their dogs”. I looked around and realised there were only women there. I. By the time she found it,it was starting to get pretty wet down there with all this attention andstimulation and I was starting to think that maybe being a girl was notsuch a bad idea.And so I started coming to school dressed as a girl everyday from thenon. I didn't have any friends because nobody wants to be friends with agirl who used to be a boy. So I kind of became a wall flower at schooland wondered if this was how the rest of my life was going to play out.I guess it was at this point I.
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